Till Death Do Us Part
by Wyndi
Summary: A look at a very complicated love triangle involving Chyna, Hunter, and Stephanie.
1. Chapter One: Who And What I Am

Content: Mature subject matter, het situations, major angst.  
  
Character/s: Chyna (Joanie Laurer), Hunter, Stephanie McMahon, mentions of Road Dogg (Brian Armstrong) & Mick Foley  
  
Disclaimer: I own NO ONE depicted in these fics. I am not endorsed by any person, corporation, federation, promotion, etc., nor do I receive any monies for writing sick and twisted tales of their imagined goings-on. Lyrics from "It's Her Or Me" from the musical "Miss Saigon." Lyrics, quotations, etc. used without permission. No infringement or disrespect to the various artisans is intended, so please don't sue me.  
  
Notes: A leadup to Hunter & Stephanie's RL wedding in October of 2003.   
  
* * *  
  
He's cheating on me. I know he is. There's no way to hide what he's up to. Not now, when I've seen the phone bills, overheard his half of phone conversations I was never meant to hear, listened to his pathetic half-assed excuses for being out so late. He's such a gifted liar, my Hunter, but this time, I can see right through his lies. I had my suspicions, don't get me wrong. I guess some part of me wanted to not see the writing on the walls. Wanted to believe he was being faithful to me, that there was nobody else he held so close to his heart as me. What a way to be proven wrong, huh?   
  
Because I've seen her. And now I know.   
  
It's all right  
  
It's all right when I just imagine  
  
There's no face, she's not real  
  
And I can tell myself that it's all okay  
  
All the signs were there. They must've been there all along, I guess. I didn't want to see them, didn't want to accept that I wasn't enough to keep him happy. We were supposed to be the big, bad 'power couple' after all. D-Generation X was dominating the airtime and Hunter and I were the undisputed voice of that group. Oh sure, say what you will about Shawn. He's no slouch in the attention-whore department, that much is sure. But the real power behind Hunter was always me. The stereotypical power behind the throne, to borrow a very cliched saying.  
  
And then there was the day that Jesse slipped me a well-meaning note telling me about Hunter and Stephanie. I didn't want to believe it was true. Sure, I'm nowhere near as pretty as she is, but at least I have a brain, dammit, and rely on more than silicone and a shrieking voice to make the fans pay attention to me. How could he possibly see anything in her that he couldn't find in me? He always told me that there was more to a woman than looks alone. I could keep up with him at the gym, at the bar, in bed. There was nothing that I couldn't provide for him. At least, not until now.   
  
But she's there  
  
And my heart cries this isn't happening  
  
But the truth is cold and real  
  
And I know this storm won't go away  
  
I really don't know if I can withstand this kind of struggle. I'll fight for what I believe is mine, sure, but what do you do when your opponent is the daughter of the man who owns the company you work for? How the hell do I win that kind of battle? Maybe he was just biding his time with me. Just waiting for something prettier and more feminine to come prancing along. Someone who wasn't afraid of him, who wanted more from him than just his fabled sexual prowess. Those women are few and far between. And all this time I thought what attracted him to me was the fact that I wasn't some fragile-looking little girl who he could break with one good sneeze. I guess I was deluding myself in the worst possible way.  
  
I want to cry until I run out of tears. I want to run until my feet fall off. I want to hit him, hate him, hurt him, make him bleed until he begs my forgiveness for putting me through this kind of anguish. But I can't do that. Even after finding out the terrible truth, I still can't bring myself to hate him. I wish to God I could. It'd make my life a lot easier, that's for sure. But I'm just not capable of hatred. Mick always told me that the first time I fell in love, I mean really in love, it would be my downfall. Truer words were never spoken. I wish I'd taken his advice from the start and just walked away from Hunter. God, I was a clueless bimbo. And I still am, in may ways, I guess.   
  
Now that I've seen her  
  
There's no way to hide  
  
She is not some fling  
  
From long ago  
  
Now that I've seen her  
  
I know why he lied  
  
And I think it was better when I didn't know  
  
I've seen them together since getting Jesse's note. There's an electricity between them that isn't there when it's just Hunter and me. They argue and fight like cats and dogs and that's what really scares me. For that kind of animosity to be involved, there's got to be passion. And with passion comes love. And that's what I can't deny or fight. If it's her he really loves, then I don't stand a chance.   
  
Just watching them together backstage just tears me apart, even though they aren't doing anything more than going over storylines. I know now how he feels about her and nothing will ever be the same again. I know that note from Jesse wasn't just some cruel prank, because Jesse doesn't play those kind of games. Stephanie loves Hunter and he loves her. And I wish I'd been able to stay oblivious to the whole thing.   
  
In her eyes, in her voice  
  
In the heat that filled the air  
  
Part of him still lingers there  
  
I know what pain her life today must be  
  
But if it all comes down to her or me  
  
I don't care, I swear  
  
I'll fight  
  
God, I'm such an idiot. What did I think I would accomplish by trying to talk to her? Now she sees me as a jealous harpy, probably. Which is what I am, I guess. I AM jealous. How could I not be? She has everything to offer him that I don't have, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I can't provide anything for him that he can't get from her in spades. How do you compete with the boss' daughter?   
  
Oh, sure, she was all nice about it, tried to deny what's been going on between them, but a woman knows when she's being lied to. And she knows when another woman is in love with her man. There's no disguising that. So now that she knows that I know, what happens next? Do I just roll over and admit defeat or do I fight for what I know I want and deserve?   
  
Now that I've seen her  
  
She's more than a name  
  
I don't hate this girl, even so  
  
Now that I've seen her  
  
I can't stay the same  
  
Who's this man that I trusted  
  
Now I have to know  
  
I wish I could hate her, curse her, despise her for what she's done, but I don't have it in me. Maybe I've mellowed with the years. Maybe it's premature menopause. Maybe it's insanity. I don't know. All I know is that I'm terrified beyond words that she'll win. That she'll prove somehow that she's the better woman and I'll be left in the dust yet again. It's so hard to get people to accept me for who I am. Hunter was one of the few who saw me as more than just another 'butch bitch.'   
  
And obviously I wasn't enough for him, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here overanalyzing my life, adding up all of my shortcomings. 


	2. Chapter Two: Just Me

Content: Mature subject matter, het situations, mentions of abuse, language.  
  
Character/s: Hunter, Chyna (Joanie Laurer), Stephanie McMahon.  
  
Disclaimer: I own NO ONE depicted in these fics. I am not endorsed by any person, corporation, federation, promotion, etc., nor do I receive any monies for writing sick and twisted tales of their imagined goings-on. Lyrics from "Tenderness (For Women Only)" by Steppenwolf. Lyrics, quotations, etc. used without permission. No infringement or disrespect to the various artisans is intended, so please don't sue me.  
  
Notes: A leadup to Hunter & Stephanie's RL wedding in October of 2003.   
  
* * *  
  
What an incredibly fucked up situation this is. I can't even fall in love without finding some way to complicate the issue. Now I've gotta worry about how the hell I'm going to settle this. You'd think after all this time I would know better than to get caught up in this kind of mess, right? I guess some things never change. My insatiable appetite for something new and exciting is no exception.  
  
Joanie's no fool. There's no way in hell she can't know about Stephanie. Of course, Steph knew about Jo from the beginning. She was all for coming out in the open about me seeing her, but I didn't think that was the best way to handle things. I figured I could keep Steph on the side and nobody would be any wiser. Just shows that she doesn't know Jo too well, does she?  
  
I hadn't even planned on finding someone else. I was actually content for a long damn time. Jo was so many things I'd been seeking for so fucking long, you'd think she'd be enough for me. Shows how well I know myself, huh? She was the sweetest, tenderest lover I'd ever had. The only one who didn't come to me looking to be 'mastered by the Game,' but simply to be with me. Not my persona, just me. She was so fucking good to me and all I did was treat her like shit. I knew she was tough, so if I'd had a bad day, I'd take it out on her, knowing it wouldn't scare her off.   
  
She tried to show me how to love  
  
I bit her lip and bruised her arms  
  
No, I hadn't learned tenderness  
  
I don't know how many times we had that same old conversation about what each of us really wanted in a lifelong partner. How she wanted stability, intelligence, and stamina. Someone who could keep up with her mentally as well as physically. I thought that's all I wanted and needed, too, but I was so fucking wrong. Why the hell did I think one woman could ever be enough for me?  
  
Even Jo, as amazing as she was, wasn't enough to keep me satisfied. Maybe it was because I knew I could take advantage of her love that led me to do so. Maybe it was because I knew that no matter how badly I treated her, she'd still stick by my side and love me. So willing and naive in so many ways. She had this totally idealistic view of what true love was, because she'd never really been IN love before. It was just so fucking easy to use it against her to get what I wanted.   
  
She asked, "what does love mean to you?"  
  
I grabbed her hair and pulled her down  
  
I looked in her eyes and I laughed  
  
I guess the chase really IS better than the catch, because once I knew I had her, my eye started wandering elsewhere. And found Stephanie. The last person I ever thought I'd fall for. Like me, her on-screen character wasn't too far off the mark from who she was away from the public eye. Behind the shrieking voice and the fake tits was someone every bit as ambitious and egotistical as me. Almost a mirror image of myself.  
  
It was such a thrill in the beginning, sneaking around behind Joanie's back. Taking business lunches with "McMahon." Little did Jo know it was the daughter and not the father I was seeing. I turned lies and double-talk into an art form. We actually managed to pull it off pretty good for several months. Then little by little, I started to fuck up. I'd either stay out too late and forget to call, or I'd do something stupid like call Steph while I thought Joanie was in the shower. Just simple little shit like that.  
  
But Joanie, man, she could get a job with the FBI. It didn't take too long for her to start to suspect she wasn't the only woman in my life. She started putting all the pieces together and finally confronted not me but Stephanie with the proof. Steph of course tried to cover for me, made up all kinds of excuses about how she was a writer and needed to meet with me regularly to go over storylines and other business-related topics. I have a feeling that explanation didn't go over too well. Joanie hasn't mentioned it to me yet, but one day she will. And I'll give her the cold, hard truth. Every damn bit of it.   
  
The love I feel is hard and fast  
  
It's for a face and for one night  
  
I don't need to own anyone  
  
Fact of the matter is, I don't want the kind of almost hero-worship that Joanie offers anymore. I'm not the slightly insecure person I was when we met. I know what I'm good at, and that happens to be fucking around. I like knowing I can go to damn near any city in any state and know there'll be women lined up around the corner for the chance to carry my bags, drive me to my hotel, suck my dick, or just be seen in my presence. I LIKE having that kind of power over people, but I don't want to feel like I owe them any more than I'm willing to give. I don't need mindless followers, just people who respect me for who I am.  
  
I can't have that kind of a life with Jo. There's always going to be something of the awestruck fan with her. Not so with Stephanie. She's used to things being handed to her on a silver platter. And if she doesn't get what she wants, she'll find a way to get it. She's completely ruthless and that's one of the main things I love about her. I like someone who's not afraid to play dirty to get what she wants  
  
Jo thinks she knows me so well. She thinks if we ever broke up that I'd spend my days missing her, asking myself what she's up to, wondering if she's thinking about me. And hell, I probably would for a little while, but people like me always move on in search of the next best thing. The fact that I've already got someone waiting in the wings just makes the transition that much easier this time.   
  
She said all your women burn in your flame  
  
But as it dies, they'll leave you and seek revenge  
  
Steph thinks Jo's going to do something drastic when that inevitable day comes, that she'll find some way to get back at me. I really don't see it happening. I'm sure as shit not scared of Joanie. Let's get real, people. When the time comes, I'll snap my fingers and she'll have no other choice but to do as I say. Because that's how things are with us. She may THINK she has some say in the matter, but in the end it all comes down to what I want.  
  
That's the only acceptable solution, after all. And Steph at least respects that. She knows ours will be a give-and-take relationship, with me winning most of the battles. She won't just roll over and give in, though, which makes the game a little more interesting. Not like with Joanie, where her fear of losing me governs her every thought, action, and feeling. She thinks she can predict what I'll say or do, but she's got another thing coming. And I'll have no problems showing her the error of her ways when the time comes.   
  
She laughed and said "You'll go through hell  
  
You'll live in lonely rooms unknown  
  
And watch for my lost tenderness"  
  
If Jo thinks I'm going to spend my days pining for her, she's fucking deluding herself. I've had plenty of other women before her, and I'll probably have countless others after her. I need variety in my sex life. That's just how things are. People like me don't settle down. We need constant stimulation, new avenues to explore, unpredictable encounters. Sheltered people like Jo will never get that.   
  
That's another thing Steph has going for her. She knows how the real world operates. She knows that we may last a few weeks or a few months or even a few years. There's no telling and we're not deluding ourselves by promising ourselves a forever together. We're taking things one day at a time and keeping things as real as possible. It's a nice, refreshing break from the starry-eyed puppy love I get from Jo. She probably thinks we'll be together until the end of time, that I'll marry her, and we'll have a whole litter of gym babies. I think not. Why the fuck would I want to tie myself down by helping create an army of 'mini-me's? Someone's gotta look after Number One, and that someone is me.   
  
I went from her to someone else and someone else   
  
No, I couldn't be satisfied  
  
Like me, Steph's had her share of random partners. She'll use people for whatever they're worth and then move on to something new. How many times have we all seen someone get a huge push only to be dropped from the air a few short weeks later? That's Stephanie's influence right there. As soon as she starts to lose interest, they're through. I'm sure it sucks from their perspective, but this is a business, after all, and that's how things work.  
  
Maybe I'll stick around with Steph for a while and maybe I won't. It certainly can't hurt my career any, fucking the boss' daughter. Maybe I'll even cement myself a spot as a main-eventer again, get a nice, long title run, have some say in the storylines I get put in. Point is, I have nothing to lose by dumping Joanie for Stephanie. I know that sounds cold and heartless, but I don't give a shit. My own needs and wants have to come first. They always have and they always will.   
  
She said all your women burn in your flame  
  
And as it dies, they'll leave you and seek revenge  
  
No matter what anyone else might say, I didn't set out to break Joanie's heart. I really didn't. I honestly do love her. She's just not what I need right now. Things may change somewhere down the road and I may need to return to the shelter of her forgiving heart, but I honestly don't see that happening. All I can do right now is focus on my career and Stephanie and hope that it takes just a little longer for Joanie to figure out what's really going on between us. I'd hate to leave one relationship without having another one already set up.  
  
I said it before and I'll say it again. I'm insatiable. Stephanie is no different. I'm sure she'll continue to see whomever she wants on the side while we're together, and she won't give a shit if I do the same to her. Of course, I really don't see either of us needing to have other partners since we're already so well-matched, but I'm not ruling out the possibility, either. We'll just take it step by step and see what happens.  
  
I just have to figure out a way to let Joanie down easy. She'll probably give me that same tired old line about how she can never love again, never trust a man again after I hurt her so badly. Fuckever. I don't need anyone's drama thrown in my face. If she can't handle the truth, too fucking bad. She'll have no choice but to deal with it however she feels she has to.   
  
I wish that I could find her now  
  
My love is soft, my love is warm  
  
I'd take her to bed tenderly  
  
Oh yes, I'd take her to bed tenderly  
  
You know? I almost regret the pain I'm going to put her through once I finally end things between us. Almost. She really is a great kid with a good heart. She means well, at least. It's not entirely her fault that she can't be what I need her to be. And in all honesty, I wouldn't want her to change for me. She gave me a lot of what I needed at a time when I needed it most. She taught me that people really can love me for WHO I am, and not what they THINK I am. Most importantly, she taught me what true love is. And now that I have no more need for her, I feel like the worst kind of criminal for taking her love and using it and then turning my back on her.   
  
But what the fuck else am I supposed to do? I'm in this for me, remember? Not anybody else. Just me. 


	3. Chapter Three: It's My Time

Content: Mature subject matter, het situations, language.  
  
Character/s: Chyna (Joanie Laurer), Hunter, Stephanie McMahon, Mick Foley, mention of Colette Foley.  
  
Disclaimer: I own NO ONE depicted in these fics. I am not endorsed by any person, corporation, federation, promotion, etc., nor do I receive any monies for writing sick and twisted tales of their imagined goings-on. Lyrics, quotations, etc. used without permission. No infringement or disrespect to the various artisans is intended, so please don't sue me.  
  
Notes: A leadup to Hunter & Stephanie's RL wedding in October of 2003.   
  
* * *  
  
It's scary how much stuff you can accumulate after a few years of living with someone. The collection of favorite movies and CDs, the clothes he bought for me after seeing me drool over them in the store window, the slinky lingerie I swore I'd never wear for anyone else. Looking at it all now, it seems like there's too much. Like five years have somehow miraculously stretched into ten or twenty. I'm staring at a near-lifetime of joint purchases and I'm leaving it all behind. Because he chose to leave ME behind.  
  
I can't bring myself to pack all this shit up. Some part of me wants to hang onto these tokens of past sentiment and future nostalgia, hoping against hope that he'll change his mind, find that Stephanie isn't what he really wants, and come back to me. But I'm not stupid. I know he's not coming back. And at this point, I don't even want him to. Not after the months of lies and double-talk. Nobody deserves that.  
  
I'll probably leave everything here when I move into my own apartment. I can always buy new furniture and it'll make moving a hell of a lot easier. I need to wipe the slate clean and begin again. Start all over with new outfits he's never seen, CDs he's never heard, books he's never read. And most importantly, a bed he's never slept in with sheets that don't still carry some faint trace of his cologne.  
  
I can honestly say that I gave it my best shot. Too bad the reverse isn't true. I knew Hunter was an egomaniac when I first met him. I knew that his wants and needs would always come first. I just never expected him to drop me like a bad habit so quickly. I thought he was worth fighting for. Was it too much to ask for him to feel the same way about me? It always seems like the good ones never stick around. Or maybe it's the bad ones that don't stick around and a foolish girl like me can't quite see the difference.  
  
Things would be so much easier if I could hate both of them for what they've put me through, but I really AM the big softie Mick always accuses me of being. I wish more than anything that I'd met him before he married Colette. Even though he and I are the best of friends now, I think we would have made one fantastic couple. But at least I have his friendship, which has come to be one of the only stabilizing influences in my life here lately.   
  
I met him for lunch so I could tell him about Hunter's decision. I wasn't completely sure how he'd react, but I knew he was the one person I could share my horrible news with who wouldn't make me feel like I was the one who'd failed somehow. He didn't curse because, well, Mick NEVER curses. Well, ALMOST never, at any rate. He didn't smother me with pity. He didn't throw his arms around me and tell me that everything would be okay. What he did was what Mick always does, which is listen, offer advice, and reassure me that he would never abandon me. Which of course was exactly what I needed.   
  
"Can't I just go over to her apartment and slash the tires on his Hummer? Set fire to his wardrobe? Put Nair in his shampoo? Have some gypsy woman put a curse on them?"  
  
"There isn't a spiteful bone in your body, Jo. You wouldn't go through with it and you know it."  
  
"Not even this once? Just to prove you wrong?"  
  
"Sweetheart, don't make me have my own kids sit you down and teach you right from wrong."  
  
"Again?"  
  
"I love you, Jo. You know I'll always be here for you, don't you?"  
  
"Yes, Mick. I do. I can't tell you what your friendship means to me."  
  
"You know, if you wanna come stay at the house for a few days, I'm sure Colette and the kids would love to have you."  
  
"And you? Would you love to have me stay there?"  
  
"Well, I guess if I absolutely had to, I could suffer through an extended visit."  
  
"Michael Frances..."  
  
What in the world would I do without Mick to keep things in perspective? Especially now while I'm dealing with this whole 'starting over' shit. He's one in a million, and I'm thankful beyond words to have him. In what can often be a friendless business, you learn real quick to latch onto the good ones and hold them close. And it's an added bonus when they're as smart and full of good advice as Mick is.  
  
The honest truth is that Hunter and I were probably too close. When 80 percent of your life has to do with the business and you're always together, on screen and off, then there's no real down time. If we weren't at work, we were talking about work and didn't seem to notice that we weren't exactly connecting on a personal level anymore. We never really had time away from each other, so I guess all our communication problems were inevitable.  
  
Well, it's time for a new start, a new life, and a new Joanie. One who doesn't need Hunter and his lies and deceit. There's plenty of other guys out there who I'm sure would jump at the chance to treat me for just who and what I am. Someone deserving of love, devotion, loyalty, and most of all, honesty. It's hard enough to make it as a woman in this business. The last thing I need is a boyfriend who can't recognize a good thing when he sees it and feels like he has to compete with me all the damn time.  
  
Someday Hunter will look back and realize just how bad of a mistake he made when he left me. That's what I hope for, anyway. I'm destined for great things. I always strive to out-do my own achievements, and I've got nowhere to go but up. From this day forward, it's my time. Nobody else's. My time. 


End file.
